DRACULA TEACHES ANATMAN
Mon, 09/27/2004 — Fasteriskhead
Simon Belmont, curious about the notion of Anatman (No-Self), said this to Dracula: "By what name are you known?"
Dracula responded, "I am called Dracula, and my friends Frankenstein and Medusa address me as such, but there is no Person to be found here."
Simon said, "If, Dracula, there is no Person and no eternal Self to be found in you, than who is it that sucks blood? Who is it that defiles virgins and is reborn every hundred years to terrify the world anew? Who is it that is a miserable little pile of secrets? From what you say it must be implied that there is no Dracula to commit all of these acts. You say, 'my friends Frankenstein and Medusa address me as Dracula;' well, what is 'Dracula'? Is this rib 'Dracula'?"
"No, it is not."
"Is this heart 'Dracula'?"
"Is this eye 'Dracula'?"
"Is this nail 'Dracula'?"
"Is this ring 'Dracula'?"
"Perhaps all of these together--do the rib, heart, eye, nail, and ring combined make up 'Dracula'?"
"No, they do not."
"Then is it something other than these things that is 'Dracula'?"
"Well, sir, I cannot find any 'Dracula.' Who is this 'Dracula' whom I am talking to, who put this curse on me when I first defeated him? He does not exist! There is no Dracula!"
Then Dracula said, "Tell me, Simon, how did you cross the Dead River and reach Braham Mansion to find my eye? Surely you could not have reached the other side by swimming!"
"I did not swim, I went on a ferry."
"In that case, tell me what is the ferry. Are the horizontal blue lines the ferry?"
"No, it is not."
"Are the white bits on the side the ferry?"
"Is the poorly-rendered ferryman the ferry?"
"Are all of these things collected together the ferry?"
"No, they are not."
"Then is there something else that is the ferry?"
"Well, Simon, I cannot find any ferry! You have lied! You could not have possibly recovered my eye because there was no way to get across the river! There is no ferry!"
Simon Belmont, after having heard this, replied, "Dracula, I did not lie. The word 'ferry' comes into existence dependent on the horizontal blue lines, the white parts on the side, and on the poorly-rendered ferryman; it is a designation, a symbol, a name."
"Well said! You fully understand the nature of the ferry. In the same way, the word 'Dracula' comes into existence dependent on the rib, the heart, the eye, the nail, and the ring. It is a designation, a symbol, nothing but a name. In the final analysis, there is no Person to be found."
After this, Simon beat the shit out of Dracula while he was still forming and finished the game in under eight hours.