GREAT SEXUAL MOMENTS IN GAMING #3

Thu, 01/14/2010 — Rev. Ragu

You've tasted the sweet, sweet forbidden fruit of serial copyright infringement with the Touch Boy brand Gameboy copier - feels pretty good to be playing Go! Go! Tank, Catrap, Amazing Tater, and Bubble Ghost for free, eh? Didn't hurt as much as you thought. Helicopters didn't hover overhead, men in black balaclavas wielding submachineguns did not rappel through your windows, you were not manhandled and beaten about with the butt-end of a rifle by burly copyright enforcers, stripped, hosed down with freezing water, carried into a windowless gray room, buck naked, forced to answer deeply personal questions about yourself, your family, your love life, where you got the idea that you could play Boomers Adventure and Battle Bull without paying a dime. Feels really good, in fact. Maybe what they've been telling you about right and wrong and crime and punishment is completely false. Maybe... there are other forbidden fruits that are just as delicious.

Touch Boy

Yes. Yessss. Your gray market Gameboy copying device knows. It knows that all morality is arbitrary. You've been playing Maru's Mission and Kwirk: He's A-Maze-Ing for years now. Never leaving your house. Afraid that everyone will know. You're marked, you're tainted. So just let go. You have nothing to lose. You're already bound for hell, figuratively speaking, why not throw a few more proverbial coals on the flames?

Come on man. Try it once. Fly. You can't get a habit from Touch Boy. Quit anytime you like~*

Touch Boy

*Please note: The Andore Seven does not wish to condone or promote the sexual abuse of children, nor the illicit copying and download of Gameboy hits such as Bugs Bunny's Crazy Castle and Penguin Wars. Be good, folks

WIZROBE: The Story Behind The Album Part 1

Wed, 12/02/2009 — Rev. Ragu

In 1989, Wizrobe released their most popular album to date, "Pussy Liquors & Fine Spirits." The album, widely known as a drastic departure from their EPIC FANTASY METAL roots, sent Wizrobe hurtling into the mainstream, the album eventually going triple platinum. Rather than the triumphal lyrics praising the deeds of the folkloric heroes of old and spinning fearful tales of the beasts that lurk on the edge of humanity's collective imagination, Wizrobe's new style was of the much more mainstream SEXY REACTION METAL (also must be capitalized). With the raunchy licks and erotically charged lyrics, Wizrobe found much wider appeal than merely blaring from parents' basements during all-night Dungeons & Dragons marathons.

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