INFOTATIONAL SATIRICAL WEBJOURNAL ANDORE JR CRISIS

Thu, 11/04/2004 — Bloiffy

Terrible news, my dears. Terrible news. I have returned from my busy schedule of suckin' big dicks and homphing down big globs of stringy spooge and I bring grave news. Fagfiction dot net will sadly be closing in a month. SO BASICALLY WE NEED TO HAVE A DONATION DRIVE !!!!!! DONUT LET ANDORE DIE KIDS

We need to raise TWENTY GOLDS to pay for the cost. The cost of a PUFF PUFF, THAT IS !!!!

Actually we will probably setting up a different server or something so uh don't worry too much I guess.

Bad Street Brawler (rewritten w/cock jokes)

Thu, 10/07/2004 — Fasteriskhead

BALLS STREET BLOWER - THE STORY
Dicklicking crooks, thugs, and circus renegades rule the mean streets.
It's a real zoo out there! The city is unsafe and the good citizens live
in constant fear (of being sucked off). You are DICK DAVIS-former
punk rocker and the world's queerest martial arts vigilante! You are a
lean, mean, cock-sucking machine, returning to your native city
streets as the ultimate defender of fagdom! There's evil waiting
behind every bulge and dicks lurking behind every corner-LOOK OUT!
It's up to you to send the bad guys reeling with furious fisting & ass
bashing action. It's non-stop fellatio madness! Nail the no-gooders
today-and watch the street sodomists scatter!

The Homos (my custom MOO2 race)

Mon, 07/19/2004 — Fasteriskhead

BACKGROUND:
The Homos were originally engineered by the Antarans as an attempt to make a highly intelligent race of thinkers, philosophers, and scientists; to their surprise, however, all their creations ever wanted to do was suck dick like crazy. Dumped off on a backwater planet and left for dead (for the Antarans wanted nothing more to do with their gay ways), the Homos proved surprisingly resiliant considering their massive handicap of having to pound down a cock every few minutes. Rallying around their pink triangle flag, they now look up briefly from one another's crotches to gaze at the stars and wonder if, perhaps, there is anyone out there as faggy as them.

PICKS:

1/2 Food (-5)
-working in the fields would probably get their new outfits all dirty and grungy, and they have to go see the opera tonight.

-20 Ship Defense (-2)
-they are just way too busy choking down dongs to pay attention to their viewscreens.

-10 Ground Combat (-2)
-too fey and feminine to handle a rifle, also distracted etc.

Democracy (+7)
-it's a tough choice between this and a Unification government, but gay people are slightly funnier as squabbling girly men than mindless zombies wandering around groaning dongs... DONGS...

Cybernetic (+4)

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COCKRUB WARRIORS RULE

Thu, 07/15/2004 — Bloiffy

-------------------
|ASCIIARTBYBLOIFFY|
|                 |
|                 |
| 8====|)~(|====8 |
|   -DICK2DICK-   |
|                 |
|                 |
|ASCIIARTBYBLOIFFY|
-------------------

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My name is STEREOTYPE WITH AN 'A'

Mon, 07/12/2004 — Bloiffy

Good day, good sirs. Allow me to introduce myself: I am Bloiffiko Breadman.

I was entreated into becoming part of this jolly peregrination into the foothills of gaming's past, present and future history by my fellows-in-arms, who surmised that I might lend them expertise in areas that only ten percent of the world's population might be able to give. Yes, I am here to express the opinions and ideals of the homosexual minority. As any self-respecting videogamesplayerperson should know, it is vitally important to have the sentiments of someone who is sensitive and thoughtful, and likes CHOKING DOWN BIG FAT DICKS!!! Oh yes, I promise to give a Wildean insight into the nature of videogames, with articles such as: "Why We Must Pause and Evaluate the Nature of Chun Li's Underwear When She Performs a Spinning Bird Kick" and "De Profundis: Suffering Is One Very Long Moment... When You Keep Falling Off Those Fucking Ledges."

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