Fri, 06/10/2005 — Bloiffy
All too long, Andore has lain dormant. Silent. Like a boulder. No, like an igneous rock, what was once molten lava! Yes, that's right. Andore JR was once aflame, burning bright, and now all is quiet, the flames somehow extinguished. But do you know what hides within that rock, gentle reader? DIAMONDS. And do you know what diamonds buy you? That's right. True love.
We have looked at the past of videogaming, here at Andore JR HQ. But now we must look to the present, and to the future. The future in which electrons and light flow throughout the universe. The future in which exciting new videogames are being developed. Games like... FINAL FANTASY VII: DIRGE OF CERBERUS, and FINAL FANTASY VII: BEFORE CRISIS, and FINAL FANTASY VII SNOWBOARDING.
God I'm wet. God I'm hot. God I'm wet and hot and most of all, turgid with the sheer terrifying thrill of what's to come. The future is now. The next generation will be here any moment (when they finally invent the chips that will power the PS3 and when Nintendo actually admit they don't have anything that would constitute a revolution and when Microsoft just gives up and goes back to making shitty things for PCs). Get ready!